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2017-03-05 02:32 am (UTC)
I absolutely agree "that love doesn't prevent someone from inflicting hurt or abuse". (Personally, I think this applies as much to Buffy as to Spike, but I realize that "Buffy actually does love Spike" is not a universally held opinion, even by depressed!Buffy herself.)
However, I don't think Spike took advantage of Buffy's poor mental health to push her to sleep with him, at least not initially. Buffy was the instigator of their sexual relationship. She kept kissing him, refusing to talk about it, and then she — much to his surprise — turns the fight in the abandoned house into, well, hours of sexual congress. While still refusing to talk about it. He follows her lead, she keeps showing up, he keeps doing what he
she wants. I can see that he might easily fall into using his skills for reading her to achieve the short-term goal — that of getting Buffy into bed. Or, you know, somewhere in the vicinity of the bed. But whose goal is that? I don't believe it's his, except inasmuch as he thinks it's what she wants, deep down. However, he most likely feels that it's the only time when they are really connecting on any meaningful level. And connection IS what he craves.
Maybe that's the rub? Their relationship is broken because he wants to connect emotionally with her — and he'll do whatever he can to reach for that — while she (says she) wants nothing but a zipless fuck from him and will resent anything "meaningful" between them. And...I'm just restating the endless essays on the genderbent nature of the relationship and Spike as the film noir bad girl, without improving on them.
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