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[personal profile] odyle and I were have one of our regular talks about shitty wizards recently, and it made me realize the characters I like (and like to write) most aren’t shitty wizards but shitty people. Characters who do bad things with good intentions are so very much my favorite – I like when they’re in headlong bad-decisions spirals, and I like when they’re smacked in the face with self-awareness and try to pull out of the spiral and work towards atonement. That narrative tension is so interesting. It’s why Tony Stark and Marian Hawke (the purple version of her, at least) and even Mara Jade are my favorite POVs. I think it probably even informs the way I write Shepard; I tend to hit the atonement angle really hard with the ruthless/colonist/paragon combination.

That Shepard (as I write her) qualifies as a shitty person isn’t immediately apparent in stories set during the war, because her entire adult identity is built around her military career, which is in a lot of ways a safe environment for her. The Alliance provides focus and meaning to her life and allows her to indulge in some pretty dark impulses while still nominally acting in the name of the greater good. She can have the confidence – and very possibly all this knowledge is subconscious, at least at the beginning of her career – that the military acts as a limiting force that both can and will stop her from going too far.

That’s one of the main reasons I tend to write Shepard as someone with an interest in boxing; it doesn’t erase her effort to learn how to problem-solve through diplomacy and communication, but it does undercut it: she thinks with her fists, she has a lot of anger that comes out through violence, she wants to solve her problems by hitting someone in the face repeatedly until they take on all her pain and all she has to feel is release or strength or numbness. Boxing as a hobby also makes for an interesting contrast with Shepard-as-sniper; that’s her professional mode, the cold remove, attacking from a distance, but beneath it she still has the urge to get up in someone’s face and hurt them.

That’s also why I can’t let Aratoht go – Aratoht is the ultimate example of “Did I do this because it needed to be done, or did I just want to make the batarians bleed?” (”Both” is the answer – “both” is always the most interesting answer.)

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01 January 2017
I didn't do an end-of-year writing meme for 2016 (because I posted so little fic!), but here's five things I'd like to get done this year:

  1. Write and post the next part of Crucible, which has basically been my goal for the past two years. I have made no forward progress!!! Hopefully Andromeda's release with strike a spark.

  2. Stark Disassembled. The first part received about -5 attention, but I'm still really digging the idea of getting the other four parts up; that's a story I'm writing for myself.

  3. Finish all my giftfic by the end of March! I have one long overdue Hawke/Varric fic that is my current priority, and I'm offering two stories for the Fandom Trumps Hate auction.

  4. I'm moving into 2017 with a substantial bit of work done on three longer one-offs: Bliss, a Luke/Mara AU where Mara is roped into building the New Jedi Order; Conversational, a Buffy/Spike post-canon fic where I work out all my NFA feelings; and Raising Hypatia, which is 7k of Sheldon, Penny, and their daughter, because I still haven't gotten out from under that fandom's thumb. None of them will take much time to finish.

  5. Write more Hawke. Hawke is so much fun to write. I should finally make that Hawke/Cassandra thing happen.
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30 December 2015
Stuff that was finished enough to make it to AO3:

The Soft Rain (Mass Effect, Shepard/Garrus)
Greatly Approved (Dragon Age, Hawke/Varric)
A Small Collaborative Effort (Dragon Age, Hawke/Varric)
The Reunion Scene (Dragon Age, Hawke/Varric)
Crooked Little (Dragon Age, Hawke/Varric)
High Flight (Marvel 616, Carol/Rhodey)
Your Last Serving Daughter (Dragon Age, Hawke/Varric)
The Dragon's Retirement (Dragon Age, Hawke/Varric)
Leap of Faith (Man of Steel, Lois/Clark)
The Seven Thousand Days (Mad Max: Fury Road, gen)
Corrective Measures (BBT, Sheldon/Penny)
Limit of the Flesh (Mass Effect, Shepard/Garrus)
???? (MCU, Sif/Loki)
Minutes from the Inaugural Meeting of the Fanclub (Skip Beat, Kyoko/Ren)

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04 December 2015
Sign-ups are open at [community profile] inkingitout! I'm about 70k short of my goal of 175k of posted fic for 2015, so I'm dropping to 120k for 2016. Aims: work on original projects and finish the next part of Crucible.
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31 December 2014
Total number of stories:

Eighteen, plus an additional nineteenth that I have yet to crosspost from a kink meme.

Total wordcount:

178,535, although that counts only finished fanfiction that is posted to AO3.

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08 December 2014
163447 / 100000 (163.45%)

[community profile] inkingitout20132012

I still have a couple of exchange stories to pump out (and a few kink meme fills to finish), but sign-ups at Inking It Out are open, so here's my end-of-season post.

The Eccentric (MCU, Sif/Loki)
Better Bonding Through Ammunition (Psych, Lassiter/O'Hara)
Queen Goes Off a Cliff (TBBT, Sheldon/Penny)
Depth Over Distance (Psych, Lassiter/O'Hara)
Wouldn't Do (Psych, Lassiter/O'Hara)
Comes and Goes (Psych, Lassiter/O'Hara)
Excelsior (Marvel, Carol/Rhodey)
A Year of Reading Dangerously (Thinking Woman's Guide, Nora/Aruendiel)
Comeback (Marvel, Carol/Jess)
Zero Sum (Marvel, Tony/Steve)
Crucible (Mass Effect, Shepard/Vakarian)
The Jig of Chains (Dragon Age, Hawke/Fenris)
The Moral of the Story (Dragon Age, Hawke/Varric)
Rising Action (Dragon Age, Hawke/Varric)

Next year I'm aiming for 175k. Fingers crossed!
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30 December 2013
(Just a reminder that [community profile] inkingitout sign-ups close soon! My 2014 goal is 100,000 words. Cross your fingers for me if you have a thought to spare.)

Here's a list of my 2013 fic. Lord, was it a rough year.

Total number of stories: Nine, providing we count the two chapters of works-in-progress. (A rough year, man.)

Total wordcount: 48,141. I way undershot my writing goal of 150,000, whew! In 2012 I whipped out 95k+, most of it in the last three months of the year, and I think that made me a little overconfident.

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02 January 2013
48141 / 150000 (32.09%)

[community profile] inkingitout2012

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22 September 2012
Cabin Keys Missing someone Favorite song Reading
Swing Clouds Injury Daily activities / routines / habits Itch
Play-fighting Sing WILD CARD Chemistry Postcoital bliss
Loving yourself Money Confidence Heirloom / Antique Private moment
Key to heart Glowing with happiness Stomachache Allergies Shoulder rub
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01 January 2012
95210 / 75000 (126.95%)

[community profile] inkingitout

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