no, use my SPACE name!
[personal profile] odyle and I were have one of our regular talks about shitty wizards recently, and it made me realize the characters I like (and like to write) most aren’t shitty wizards but shitty people. Characters who do bad things with good intentions are so very much my favorite – I like when they’re in headlong bad-decisions spirals, and I like when they’re smacked in the face with self-awareness and try to pull out of the spiral and work towards atonement. That narrative tension is so interesting. It’s why Tony Stark and Marian Hawke (the purple version of her, at least) and even Mara Jade are my favorite POVs. I think it probably even informs the way I write Shepard; I tend to hit the atonement angle really hard with the ruthless/colonist/paragon combination.

That Shepard (as I write her) qualifies as a shitty person isn’t immediately apparent in stories set during the war, because her entire adult identity is built around her military career, which is in a lot of ways a safe environment for her. The Alliance provides focus and meaning to her life and allows her to indulge in some pretty dark impulses while still nominally acting in the name of the greater good. She can have the confidence – and very possibly all this knowledge is subconscious, at least at the beginning of her career – that the military acts as a limiting force that both can and will stop her from going too far.

That’s one of the main reasons I tend to write Shepard as someone with an interest in boxing; it doesn’t erase her effort to learn how to problem-solve through diplomacy and communication, but it does undercut it: she thinks with her fists, she has a lot of anger that comes out through violence, she wants to solve her problems by hitting someone in the face repeatedly until they take on all her pain and all she has to feel is release or strength or numbness. Boxing as a hobby also makes for an interesting contrast with Shepard-as-sniper; that’s her professional mode, the cold remove, attacking from a distance, but beneath it she still has the urge to get up in someone’s face and hurt them.

That’s also why I can’t let Aratoht go – Aratoht is the ultimate example of “Did I do this because it needed to be done, or did I just want to make the batarians bleed?” (”Both” is the answer – “both” is always the most interesting answer.)

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Originally posted on Tumblr.

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Title: Emotionally Magnificent
Characters: Hawke/Varric, Aveline
Wordcount: 11606
Notes: For Hightown Funk 2016. Also on AO3.
Summary: Hawke pines out loud.

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
I am very behind in backing up fic.

Title: Hazards of the Job
Characters: Hawke/Varric, Aveline
Wordcount: 1204
Notes: For Hightown Funk 2016. Also on AO3.
Summary: Tethras and Hawke, on the case.

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
08 August 2016
ffr  
Fic where Anders actually /is/ building a mage rebellion out in the middle of a wasteland and he realizes that he can’t be the one to lead it because a.) nobody quite trusts him because b.) he’s constantly on the verge of going all glowy-vengence spirit, so Anders tracks down the one person who has a chance of holding the whole thing together, the one person who just maybe has the charisma and daring and streak of crazy to make it work: Hawke.

And listen, Hawke’s a mess. Hawke just fought her way out of the Fade. Hawke just wants to kick back on the beach with a cold beer. Hawke has no connection to the Circle of Magi because Hawke was raised apostate by an apostate’s apostate (in fact Hawke’s only view on the Circle is that it secretly terrifies her – living like that, growing up like that, being locked away in a tower and reminded every day that your great moral failing is not a matter of choice but of /existence/). Hawke, who is incapable of displaying two consecutive moments of serious heartfelt emotion, who is so thoroughly a mask that she doesn’t realize there’s something underneath the mask, who has no interest in being a hero and only wants to keep the people within arm’s distance safe, suddenly has to consider whether or not she wants to be the leader of a revolution.

She actually does consider it, because it’s Anders asking, and because it’s what Bethany would have wanted, and because – well, what does she have to lose? Malcolm used to say that “magic should serve that which is best in us, not that which is most base,” and you can bet your ass that if he hadn’t had three kids to protect he’d have been burning every Circle to the ground by the time he was thirty. (I’m thinking shades of If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for here, because this isn’t Hawke trying to save her family or Hawke cleaning up what she perceives to be her own mess, this is Hawke stepping forward and claiming a destiny, but it’s also Hawke being tired and done and thinking that if she’s going to go, she might as well make it worth something.)

Anyway, there’s about twelve million tons of crack in Professional Hot Mess Marian Hawke agreeing to and then figuring out how to lead a mage rebellion, assisted by trusted advisors Isabela (mostly here for the kicks, doesn’t want to get involved but secretly cares a little bit about not locking people up) and Fenris (hates magic, hates mages, also secretly cares a little bit about not locking people up as a matter of principle but don’t you dare call him out on it). Varric may or may not be Kirkwall’s Viscount in this story, but if he is, you can bet he gets increasingly desperate letters from Anders (”Varric, what was I thinking”) and increasingly nonchalant letters from Hawke (”Carver farted in front of that chevalier he’s infatuated with today and it was hilarious, also please disregard any reports of Val Royeaux burning, it was a light torching at best”).

this might be the endgame of the hawke epic i never write idk idk
 
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
08 February 2016
Dear Author,

Hi! Thanks so much for making a gift for me. This letter has a lot (maybe too many???) ideas and suggestions to get you started, but I'm going to adore whatever you create even if you ignore all of the below. I'm also including some information about my general likes and dislikes; if you have any questions, my askbox is always open (anon is on).

I'm down with any rating from G to NC-17, although porn for porn's sake is usually not my thing. My favorite tropes include female friendships, battle couples, epistolary stories, mutual pining, cats, crack, atonement arcs, slow burn, outside POV, banter, and competence. Het, femslash, and slash are all green lights, although many of my favorite pairings tend to fall under the "kind, clever men loving hard, dangerous women" umbrella.

Elements I dislike are animal abuse, infidelity, rape, and self-harm. That said, I do like dark stories, too, so please don't let any of these squicks prevent you from rolling with an awesome dark fic idea.

I like my Marian Hawke as ridiculous as possible, with the idea that she hides both her deep-seated anger and her core of pure marshmallow beneath jokes and barbs. That her relationship with Varric grows out of a very deep friendship is one of the things I like best about their dynamic; there's trust there, but there's also a lot that goes unsaid.

-

Prompt #1
Character: Purple, Mage, Default Marian Hawke
Relationship: Female Hawke/Varric
Optional Tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Universe, Angst, Humor, Mutual Pining, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Reunions, Cassandra Pentaghast, Isabela (Dragon Age), Iron Bull, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Fenris/Isabela, Malcolm Hawke, Carver Hawke

Down for post-canon, alternate universe, or whatever floats your boat! I'm a big fan of both angst and humor. If you go for the former, I'd love a story where Hawke stays behind in the Fade and everyone (read: Varric) deals with the repercussions; I like reunions, but I also like sad endings. If you go for the latter, literally anything with Hawke and Varric working together to fleece people at cards or a fighting ring would thrill me. If canon divergence is more your thing, I'm always up for a story with Hawke as the Inquisitor.

There aren't any characters that I particularly dislike, but my favorite dynamics are between Hawke and Cassandra, Isabela, the Iron Bull, Fenris, or Carver; as for Varric, I always like seeing his friendships explored, and in particularly enjoy when he interacts with Cassandra, Isabela, or Merrill. Anything about Hawke's relationship with her dad is going to automatically be a win, too.


There's not a lot more I can say here, Author! This is blanket permission to take any scrap of the above ideas or discard them entirely. I included some of my favorite characters and background pairings in the optional tags; if you want to take the "Fake/Pretend Relationship" trope and run with it, you're going to make me happy no matter what.

For alternate universes, how about Hawke as a reluctant private investigator and Varric as a muckracking journalist? Or, when in doubt: dragons.

-

Prompt #2
Character: Purple or Red, Mage, Default Marian Hawke
Relationship: Female Hawke/Varric
Optional Tags: Angst, Rivalry, Rival Relationship, Dark, Blood Magic

What I'd love for this prompt is a rival romance between Hawke (maybe a Hawke who has lost both of her siblings) and Varric (who loves needling her too much to let her go), but any darker take on their relationship would be awesome. I'd prefer a Hawke who is still sarcastic at the core, but if you want to take her down an angrier path, that'd be awesome, too. There's a lot about how Varric and Hawke could be good together; show me all the ways they could be bad for each other.

If angst or dark stories are your cup of tea, I'd love to see how a rival romance between Hawke and Varric would play out. It's hard to rival Varric in DA2, so feel free to write your own take without sticking to a canon story - it'd be super interesting to see this play out between a purple!Hawke and Varric, who maybe rub each other the wrong way because they're too similar. Feel free to be unrelenting in how you write them - I love both characters, but I know they're not without their flaws.
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Oh hey another kink meme fill abandoned for Hawke/Varric!

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Started for the kink meme and almost immediately abandoned for Hawke/Varric because haha oh. :(

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
20 September 2015
She only had one foot under her when she felt the weight settle on her shoulder; her other knee was folded up beneath her to avoid tripping the glyph she’d laid on the ground. She’d made that mistake once–all right, more than once, but some lessons, the particularly difficult ones, often took an even dozen times to learn thoroughly.

And then Varric said, very low and directly in Hawke’s ear: “Don’t. Move.”

In that moment, Hawke was aware of three things. The first was how difficult the drifting smoke made it to see the creature that was tracking them. The second was that she’d forgotten to tell Aveline not to let Rabbit eat too many biscuits unless Aveline had a high tolerance for canine flatulence. The third was that Varric was steadying Bianca against her shoulder.

She’d shot the crossbow a fair few times herself. It was an absolute monster to handle, heavy and with enough kickback to leave anyone unused to firing it with violent bruising; beyond that, there were a number of moving parts that were now about to go about their business only a hair’s width from some rather delicate parts of Hawke’s anatomy–nothing terribly important, just her ears and, oh yes, her face.

The thing was, though, that there was an instinct in her far more powerful than the reflex for self-preservation; so when Varric told her not to move, Hawke froze without any question whatsoever–

(x)
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
I think I started this for DA Big Bang. Hawke was a PI, Varric was a journalist maybe??

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Hawke and Varric as dragonriders.

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
16 August 2015
Sort of a prototype for Your Last Serving Daughter.

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Title: Your Last Serving Daughter
Characters: Hawke/Varric, Carver, Cassandra
Wordcount: 15k
Summary: Hawke and Varric get married for tax purposes.
Notes: Written for [tumblr.com profile] prosodi in the 2015 Hightown Funk Exchange. Has a mix here.

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Title: The Dragon's Retirement
Characters: Hawke/Varric, Dorian/Bull, Cassandra/Inquisitor
Wordcount: 3k
Notes: Written as a treat for my pinch hitters & gift givers in Hightown Funk 2015. Set in the same universe as Greatly Approved.
Summary: Stop! Wait a minute!

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
07 August 2015
Cleaning out my docs this weekend. This was from a brief foray into Cullen/Lavellan that I abandoned when I realized it wasn’t so much Cullen/Lavellan was Dorian/Bull with bonus Cassandra.

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Title: Crooked Little
Pairing: Hawke/Varric
Wordcount: 26k
Warnings: Light body horror, corpse mutilation, and all the trappings that go along with blood magic.
Summary: It's a crooked little thing they have, but it's theirs (or at least it is until ballgowns, card games, and apostasy get in the way).
Notes: It came from the kink meme! Many thanks to Lotte and all the folks on Twitter who listening to my writing pains, and even more thanks to everyone who stuck with this through the first posting. <3

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Title: The Reunion Scene
Pairing: Hawke/Varric
Wordcount: 2k
Summary: "Don't worry—I skipped the part about us."

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Title: A Small Collaborative Effort (2/2)
Characters: Hawke/Varric
Wordcount: 3k
Rating: Explicit
Notes: This was approximately the most laborious thing I have ever written, but since basically everything else I've done for this pairing fades to black before the fun bits, it seemed like time to post something a little more naked.
Summary: When two business partners love each other very much, they invest in a joint venture.

Read more... )
 
 
no, use my SPACE name!
Title: Greatly Approved
Pairing: Hawke/Varric
Wordcount: 35k
Notes: Written for the Dragon Age Kink Meme, more details on AO3.
Summary: An apostate's guide to popular fiction. Or: Hawke runs headlong into Cassandra's book club, Varric comes along for the ride.

Read more... )