damalur: (Default)
no, use my SPACE name! ([personal profile] damalur) wrote2015-11-01 10:56 am

corrective measures (bbt, sheldon/penny)

Title: Corrective Measures
Characters: Sheldon/Penny
Wordcount: 700 words
Summary: Carol is 5'11". Penny is 5'6".
Notes: Written for Jess and Ish in the 2015 Secret Skraw exchange.



She takes Sheldon with her to the Black Panther premiere. It's a birthday present. She makes sure he knows that, and then they spend ten minutes arguing about whether you can give someone a birthday present on a day other than their actual birthday, but in the end she gets him wrangled into a tux, which is its own victory.

He tells her three times that she's too short for the role before the movie even starts, and she only manages to distract him by pretending she wants to know the entire history of the fictional nation of Wakanda. Sheldon's in the middle of explaining vibranium when someone taps her on the shoulder.

Penny twists around and finds herself looking directly into the eyes of—look, she doesn't want to name names, but it's definitely Aptaincay Americaway, who smells like a mountain lodge and wants to know if Sheldon is one of Marvel Entertainment's continuity gurus.

"Nope," she says, all pearly teeth. "Just a fan."

"Just a fan?" Sheldon squawks.

Mercifully, the movie starts.

-

"You're still too short for the role," Sheldon says. "Will you be wearing lifts?"

"I hope not," says Penny, who drains her third flute of champagne and starts looking for another.

"Will your legs be surgically reconstructed to render you five inches taller?"

"God, I really hope not."

Sheldon tugs at his collar. He keeps going goggle-eyed as one celebrity after another parades past them; this might be the only red-carpet event where he can identify more of the guests than she can. It's still surreal to realize that these are her new coworkers.

"Robert Downey Jr. wears lifts," he says. "There's precedent. For accuracy's sake—"

"Okay, Sheldon, yes, I will ask them about lifts," Penny says, and at that exact moment another guy comes up and offers her a fresh flute of champagne. She doesn't recognize him, but he comes bearing gifts, and that makes him just as good as any Chris in her book.

"Hi there," he says. "You're the new Miss Marvel, aren't you?"

"Captain Marvel," says Sheldon.

"Right, yeah," says the guy. "My name's Dan. I used to work with Ike, back in the day." He leans a little too close to her, and Penny abruptly regrets taking his champagne. "Anything I can do for you, Ms. Marvel, just let me know."

Penny's heels don't quite bring her to five-eleven, but they can be weaponized. She pretends to stagger, drives one of her stilettos into Dan's foot, and dumps champagne down his front. He takes off for the bathroom swearing up a blue streak, and Penny calls after him, "Actually, it's Captain Marvel!" What a little maggot.

Sheldon, totally oblivious, digs his phone out of his pocket and frowns at it. "They'll hire anyone these days," he sniffs, and then he starts typing with his thumbs at a speed made all the more impressive by the accuracy of his spelling. Another advantage of her shoes is that they let her peer around Sheldon's shoulder without going up on her tiptoes; unfortunately, even the height advantage isn't enough to let her figure out what he's writing.

"Sweetie," she says. "Sheldon. Honey. Are you fighting with people on the internet again?"

"Yes," he says.

"In public?"

"Yes."

Penny shifts a little closer to him, and he adjusts his stance to accommodate her weight. She likes the shoes, but her feet have their limits.

Does she want to ask? She wants to ask. "What about?"

"Some facile troll thinks that Yvonne Strahovski would have been better suited for the role than you," he says. "I'm correcting them."

Penny takes the phone out of his hands and scrolls back to the top of his comment. It starts with Penny Cooper is an exponentially better choice for the part, despite minor discrepancies like her height before going on for an additional five paragraphs about something-something-something Kree.

"Aww," she says. "Thanks. I think."

"You're still too short."

"See if I ever get you a birthday present again."

"It isn't my birthday," says Sheldon, but it's hard to be mad at him when he's wearing a Carol Corps pin on the lapel of his very nice tuxedo.